Our Wild Hearts: Exploring Hope
Our wild hearts
that
want to believe,
want to hope,
want freedom,
want to love,
want love,
for what is to live
except for to love?
Love;
all manner
of
places,
people,
and
things.
All the limbs,
all the bones,
our very energy,
our very being.
Ever hopeful,
ever kind,
our wild hearts.
As activated beings, our hearts deeply desire contentment, peace, belonging. Our fields expand outward from us. To community is to human. In this unrelenting desire I think we sometimes go looking instead of simply holding our hearts door open. I’m not suggesting that to look for connection is “bad”, only that it can lead to striving and seeking in a way that can become hurtful and throw our precious energy out of balance.
As a neurodivergent person I am learning that we can get hyperfocus with emotions, beliefs, people, as well as hobbies and the typical representations of this trait. There are many other reasons that people end up in a holding pattern with unhelpful patterns or beliefs.
Recently I learned the phrase “pathological hope” which was defined as “a persistent hope for an outcome that has been proven impossible due to circumstances outside of our control” - someone’s way of being, choices, and priorities. Wow. I don’t know about you, but this one hurts…mostly because I have suffered from this (and because of this) version of hope. I think this is the same thing that my therapist calls “getting the hopies” a loving way of telling me that I may be holding something not aligned to reality or the evidence I have of what is actually true.
Pathological hope though…my brain starts rapid firing questions- How is regular smegular hope different from "pathological hope”? Where is the line that makes one hope and one misaligned with reality? Doesn't an unrelenting belief sometimes help people reach amazing outcomes? OH… belief vs hope. I mean, people overcome intense odds to achieve amazing things and …maybe we start unpacking all this by contrasting hope and belief.
Hope is defined as “a feeling of expectation and desire for a certain thing to happen.” Ok, ok. So I’m noticing that word "expectation" and remembering that it is often closely linked with grasping, holding. We will come back to that. Belief is “trust, faith or confidence in someone or something.” Is then the sticky point in hope vs. belief is that expectation, therefore a holding/grasping can be hidden inside of hope? Contrasted with beliefs definition of faith and trust which are open?
Coming back to the hidden expectations of hope. My mind goes to apraparigraha, the fifth yama (ethical discipline) in Yogic philosophy and translates as non-possessiveness, non-grasping, or non-attachment. It encourages us to take only what is necessary, letting go of hoarding, and detaching from material possessions, outcomes, and limiting beliefs in order to achieve inner peace and contentment. Perhaps this is where hope can take a pathological turn, when we are unable to release and allow alongside hope and belief. I will leave you here to ponder. Let me know in the comments what you think, what this brought up for you, and if these thoughts provoked anything helpful for you.
As I write this a lovely lavender candle burns. A hot cup of tea warms my hands between thoughts. My dog looks at me lovingly and loyally from his bed beside me. And I’m reminded that true love is a boomerang- it always comes back to you, dear reader. In even the most small ways. The candle delights my senses, the tea warms and nourishes, Sam’s joy to be near me never falters. Here’s to hope, belief, love and balance.
Till next time my dears.
